Brett Cornell Series

Home of the supreme UNSCRUPULOUS BASTARD himself !!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

POLKA, CHA-CHA, or TANGO? (Same thing, ain't it?)

Anyone who has read any of the Brett Cornell "sagas" knows that our cultured and debonair hero occasionally gets words and names mixed up -- either intentionally or unintentionally.

In this extract from "BRETT GETS HAMMERED" (Brett Cornell Mystery #6), Brett leads a female client down the path of exasperation in another of his typically one-sided arguments.

It goes like this:

“What I’m trying to say here is that I’m not entirely to blame for what happened,” I replied, as casually as I possibly could. “I’m not going to go so far as to expect you to believe that the woman actually raped me –“

“Oh, for heaven’s sake –“ the unreasonable little thing started up on me.

 “ – but you gotta admit, toots” (sharp spasms becoming apparent all over Tammy’s body at that point) “as the saying goes: It takes two to polka.”

“Tango,” she mumbled. “Two to tango – but I wouldn’t expect you to know something as fundamental and elementary as that.”

 I pretended not to have even heard her and went on, 

“The only thing your brother could possibly accomplish by taking me to court is he’ll end up pissing me off. Then when I get pissed off, I’ll come barging in on you guys while you’re sitting around the house doing absolutely nothing – or out on the street doing absolutely nothing, depending on where you’ll be living when this happens – and I’ll beat his brains in for him.”

“What –“ But I wouldn’t let her finish. Instead, I gave her a big, toothy smile and said to her,

“Let me remind you once again: It takes two to cha-cha.”

“Tango! Tango!” she screamed at me at the top of her lungs.

 “You’re welcome, you’re welcome!” I screamed back at her. “And stop screaming in my office! You’ll scare away the cockroaches!”

“It takes two to tango, you stupid, insufferable, infuriating imbecile!” she fumed, losing all control of her faculties, you’d might as well say. “How can you survive in this world when you’re so incredibly stupid? How?”

 “I get by on my looks,” I chuckled over at her. “Plus, I got a stupendous-looking ass. Not to mention my charming disposition."

Next question: How many more pages till this woman falls into bed with him -- uh, I mean falls in love with him? ? ?

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