Brett Cornell Series

Home of the supreme UNSCRUPULOUS BASTARD himself !!

Thursday, January 9, 2014

T.V. PILOT for "BRETT CORNELL, UNSCRUPULOUS" -- Now "In Review for Development" (Amazon Studios)



Well, the heading says it all, I guess.

At this point in time, it's just a matter of waiting to see if the "Brett Cornell, Unscrupulous" T.V. pilot film makes it to the next stage.


Could 2014 be "The Year of the Unscrupulous Bastard" ???


In case you missed it, here's the trailer that was posted on YouTube a while back:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKZvzfB5M3c



Sunday, December 1, 2013

PRE-HOLIDAY SALE -- ALL 9 BRETT BOOKS -- only 99 CENTS each. . .



. . .which means that, for under $10.00, you can have the ENTIRE SERIES (all 9 books) on your KINDLE -- within minutes !!!


Caution: Reading one Brett book after another may be hazardous to your mental health !!!


Disclaimer: The author refuses to accept responsibility for any unscrupulous-bastard type of behavior the reader may begin to exhibit after reading a single Brett Cornell comedy-mystery !!!

Thursday, October 10, 2013

TRAILER for "BRETT CORNELL, UNSCRUPULOUS"



Check out this brief trailer for the proposed TV-pilot "BRETT CORNELL, UNSCRUPULOUS" -- based on "The Supreme Unscrupulous Bastard" himself.

The film itself was actually written and directed by my cousin Darlene, and the lead-up to the Brett Cornell series involves a true incident wherein the unedited manuscript for "BEACH BUM BRETT" accidentally wound up on the front desk of her BOSS at work.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKZvzfB5M3c


Unfortunately, neither HBO, Starz, Cinemax, or Showtime appear to be interested in picking up the series for next season's line-up.


As Brett would put it: "It must suck to be THEM !!!"

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

BRETT ARGUES CULTURE with LOLA BUCHANAN


In this brief exchange from "IT'S ALL BRETT'S FAULT" (Brett Cornell Mystery #7), Brett tries to convince his current girlfriend (Lola Buchanan) that he knows more about CULTURE than she does!






 “I’ll have you know, baby-doll, that when it comes to culture, you’re looking at the guy who could write a whole freakin’ book on the subject, if he really wanted to.”

 

 “Oh, please!” she began, even going so far as to accompany the words with a rather sarcastic laugh.

 

 “I’ll bet you didn’t know that, when I was in high school, the teacher took us on a field trip to one of them fancy auditoriums in downtown Providence which, as everyone knows, is the freakin’ hub of civilization, right? – My old lady even paid good money and signed the little permission slip thingy so I could go, too – and I sat through a whole performance of Porky and Bess—and without even falling asleep, neither! How’s that for culture, baby?”

 

Whereupon Little Lola – or should I call her Little Miss I-Know-More-About-Culture-Than-Anybody-Else? – drew herself up, pursed her cute little rose-colored lips, and retorted,

 

 Porky and Bess, huh? Well, in case you’re interested –“

 

“Which I ain’t, but I suppose you’re gonna tell me anyways –“

 

“The name of the work in question is Porgy and Bess – not Porky!”

 

“And how would you know what show I went to see, huh? You weren’t even there!” I shot right back at her, not to be outdone by a girl who wasn’t even in the same league as me when it came to sharp-witted banter and the like.

 

 
 
 
 
MORAL OF THE STORY: Never argue with an UNSCRUPULOUS BASTARD. You can't possibly win, since the rules are slanted in the unscrupulous bastard's favor !!!

Monday, August 12, 2013

BRETT'S PHILOSOPHY ON LIFE (Does he even HAVE one???)



Contrary to what many people may think, it isn't always easy for good old Brett to lead the life of an unscrupulous bastard par excellence.

On the other hand, since Brett himself has honed the required skills all through the years -- ever since he was just a little tadpole of five or six years old -- it's not as difficult as one might think.

And so, here's Brett's (so-called) Philosophy on Life, as related by him in the opening chapter of "IT'S ALL BRETT'S FAULT" (Brett Cornell Mystery #7):





I am known, by most people who have had the fortune or misfortune of crossing my path, as an unscrupulous bastard, and if anybody wants to make a stink about it, I’ll gladly arrange to meet them some place and straighten them out, Cornell-style, which ain’t gonna be pretty, let me tell you. What’s funny, though, is that those who complain about it the loudest are usually the ones who get the shit kicked out of them in real life, either literally or figuratively. I’m sure everyone’s familiar with the old adage “Nice guys finish last”; well, I’m the man that’s out to prove that the expression “Unscrupulous bastards finish first” is even more valid in today’s anything-goes, I’ll-step-on-your-toes type of world. In all thirty-seven years of my existence, I’ve never run across a guy with scruples who could honestly call himself a happy man. How can you be happy when you go to bed every night worrying whether you did something wrong or not, or whether you may have somehow offended somebody, or whether so-and-so will still like you the next day after you did this, that, and the other thing during the course of your daily activities? For my own part, I went to bed every night focused in my mind on two things and two things only: how much money can I cram into my bank account, and how many gorgeous babes can I sweet-talk into sharing their sex lives with me in the days and years ahead. Once I get my hands on every buck I can, I’ll be able to lie back and savor the fruits of life to the fullest without having to bust my butt every single day like other people and try to make an honest living, because truth to tell, I ain’t like other people. I’m a big lug who’d just as soon smash you to the ground than have to deal with you in any way, especially if I can’t use you in a way that’ll get me closer to either more tail or more money. Also, truth to tell, I don’t need nobody’s help in getting tail, either, since most of the time I’ve got enough on hand to keep me pretty well satisfied. It’s that way now, and it’s been that way, too, ever since I was in junior high school, when even the high school chicks were tearing each other’s eyeballs out of their sockets just to be the next one in line to enjoy the honor of being one of my next daily dalliances, as I would often fondly refer to them.

  I’ve been a private detective for a few years now, and while it’s not always an honest living the way being a politician would be (yeah, right!), I can at least say I’ve got my own office and an apartment that’s got running water and electricity, provided I can talk some sweet young thing into paying a few of my bills for me. That’s more than most other guys can say, I bet. And when I turn forty, I’ll be moving out of my comfortable little apartment and moving on down to Easy Street where the babes can take turns seeing which of them could keep me going strong the longest, while I’d just be lying back feeding the old belly, drinking one Heineken after another, and smoking the choicest tobaccos known to man.

     Every once in a while, as I struggled with the weights on that hot Friday afternoon, I’d call that fancy dream of mine to mind, and believe it or not, I’d be able to summon forth that extra strength and push that sucker up from my chest with comparative ease. Nothing like the thought of a juicy piece of ass or a thirst-quenching beer to get the old adrenaline going, right?

     But I was a long way from Easy Street, let me tell you, and a lot closer to Skid Row. And that’s why being an unscrupulous bastard was not only quite natural to me, but also an essential ingredient of my character if I expected to achieve my goals. It was kind of like the professional wrestling shows I used to watch on T. V. when I was a just a little tadpole of five or six years old, you know, with the bad guy getting away with all kinds of nastiness and still emerging as the victor, while the referee just stood there playing with himself and not noticing a damned thing that was going on in the ring.

    


Well, if Brett really has it all figured out, folks, then WHY DOES HE NEARLY GET HIMSELF KILLED in every novel he's appeared in so far???

Answer? -- Self-explanatory !!!

Friday, July 19, 2013

MY 5-STAR REVIEW for "FADING EMPIRES" (volume 1) by IAN KANE



Every so often, I take a break from my writing (I guess you could call it a much-needed "Brett Break") and take on the challenge of acquainting myself with a new author, i.e. one that I'm totally unfamiliar with.

On one such occasion, I dove right into Ian Kane's novel "FADING EMPIRES" (Volume 1) and, even though it was outside my usual genre, I was totally blown away by it and anxiously look forward to future volumes in the series.

Here's what I wrote as a review of the novel, awarding it a much-deserved 5-Star rating:



"If subsequent novels in this series are as good as this initial entry, then it's safe to say that Ian Kane has a sure winner on his hands!

Expertly written in such a way that it successfully captures and holds onto the reader's attention from start to finish, this book vividly conjures up a world that is often quite nightmarish, especially in the sense that a future of this nature is not exactly out of the question, considering the often unpredictable tide of global events.

And yet, despite the creepiness, it's re-assuring to note that characters like Kilbane and (especially) Lita are able to retain their sense of humanity and compassion, rendering the events of this novel all the more life-like. Contrast is provided, of course, in characters like Pike (my favorite), whose bullying nature emerges as all the more dangerous, considering his powerful physique.

Zigzagging back and forth from one scene to another, the narrative is often episodic in nature, but this technique only serves to enhance the tension that is created in the mind and mood of the reader.

I can easily picture this as a Showtime or HBO series, and in the best of all possible worlds, it would surely be considered highly competitive.

Needless to say, I'll probably be investing a good deal of my time in reading future volumes of this series."


Check it out!

DAVE

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

POOR BRETT !!



It appears more and more obvious, as time goes on, that leading the life of a SUPREME UNSCRUPULOUS BASTARD has its definite disadvantages!


Several months ago, a gentleman who had just finished reading "BRETT GETS HAMMERED" told me in a private e-mail that, at one point in the novel, Brett made him so angry that he felt like punching him right in the face !!!


Now -- in this recent review of "WEDDING BELLS FOR BRETT" -- a young woman makes this statement at the end of her review:


"I really liked this book, as it was filled with humour, and had me laughing right till the end. I'd like to wring Brett's neck and bring him down a peg or two!"   (Italics mine.)


Poor, poor Brett! One person wants to punch him right in the face, while another person would like to wring his neck!

And to think:   I created this monster!


Brett's response: "What do I care, when it's just so great, being me!"