Brett Cornell Series

Home of the supreme UNSCRUPULOUS BASTARD himself !!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


You would think that there wouldn't be too many people who would be willing to enter into an argument with an unscrupulous bastard like BRETT CORNELL, wouldn't you?

I mean, how could you possibly win, even if you used LOGIC and RATIONAL THINKING in trying to win the argument?

Logic? Rational thinking? In BRETT'S world? ? ?

Check out this excerpt from "WEDDING BELLS FOR BRETT" for an example of BRETT'S stunning debating skills:

“Well, Brett," she started in on me by saying," – I think it’s obvious right now that we’ve reached an impasse in our relationship.”

     “An impasse in our relationship?” I sneered at her. “What the hell is that? More psycho-babble from that interfering mountain girl friend of yours?”

     “Mountain girl!” she responded, confused but still not raising her voice. “Oh, you mean Montserrat!  – Well, listen, Brett, you can cast aspersions all you want --“

     “Cast aspersions!” I scoffed, angrily pulling the face towel away from my nostrils so I could look right at her. “Start talking English, for Pete’s sake! It happens to be my native tongue on account of I’m one hundred per cent American, baby – born and bred in the greatest country the world has ever known! So, you and your precious Mount Ararat can just put that in your pipes and blow it out your ears!”

     As you can see, I was handling the situation with the required delicate touch – in my own inimitable fashion, that is – but Ginger wasn’t having any of it, and she went on, acting like I wasn’t making any sense to her at all,

     “Whether you realize it or not, Brett, my friend is actually on your side in a lot of respects. For one thing, as you may remember, she was the one who advised me last Friday to let bygones be bygones and to suggest that you and I have a simple and quiet romantic evening together.”

     “Yeah, but who’s the one who got her car lodged up against a telephone pole? That was you, baby, not me – So, whose fault was that?”

     “It was an accident, plain and simple,” Ginger responded, adopting a real lousy attitude, I thought, by talking down to me like I was being thoroughly illogical, would you believe it? “Plus, if you’ll recall, I did call you to let you know that I was stranded and wouldn’t be able to make it here for the romantic interlude I was planning on having with you.”

     “Well then next time you find yourself stuck in the middle of a raging blizzard, don’t go blaming me just ‘cause your stupid plans get ruined,” I straightened her out by telling her, and Ginger turned her head aside and remarked with a certain air of sadness,

     “It seems like the two of us are experiencing a failure in communication.”

     “Failure in communication!” I grunted. “More psycho talk, which can be translated as you’re not making any sense, and it’s all my fault.”

     “All I’m saying here,” she continued, starting to raise her voice at me, and at the same time starting to sound like my old lady, which was a real bad move on her part,” is that we seem to be talking at cross purposes.”

     “Cross purposes!” I exploded, bunching up the face towel in my right hand and then flinging it away from me. “More crazy gibberish! – But hell, baby, what else should I expect from you, anyways? Just because you seem to think that that psycho friend of yours is some kind of mental giant, huh? I’ll bet you even think she’s a hell of a lot smarter than me, too.”

     “I never meant to imply –“

     “ – just because she took a P.D.Q. test once, and somebody told her she was a genius.”

     “Don’t you mean an I.Q. test, darling?” she put in, and quite unnecessarily, too, in my opinion.

     “See? Now she’s even got you thinking you’re smarter than me. Well, tell me this, Little Miss Alberta Einstein, if you think you’re so smart: What team won the Super Bowl in 1986?”

No need to continue, because it's safe to say at this point that BRETT has once again SUBJUGATED his opponent !!

In BRETT'S world, that is!

Thanks for reading this!


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