NO FRIENDS FOR BRETT (Aw, shucks!)

Question #1: WHY DOESN'T BRETT HAVE ANY FRIENDS?

Well, as Brett himself explains it in Chapter 2 of Book #9 ("Brett Enters the Square Circle"),

     "Friends! I say: Who needs 'em? The way I look at it, if a man don't have the gonads
      to make it through life all on his own, then he ain't no man at all.

      I'd run across plenty of guys in my time who took pride in having all these buddies on
      hand to play poker with or to shoot golf with or to jerk off with, too, for all I knew --
      and in just about every case, it would turn out that one of the guys betrayed his
      friend's trust by boinking his wife and/or girlfriend. Or one of the guys ripped the
      other guy off by cheating while they were playing a hot and heady game of poker.
      Or -- even worse -- some guy's friend turned out to be gay and had designs on his
      pal's good old gazebo, if you catch my drift.
     
      Hey, I had enough trouble just keeping all my so-called female friends in line. I
      didn't need the added aggravation of cultivating some kind of dumbo friendship with
      another guy.

      Plus, I'd probably end up ripping him off myself, or doing a number on his brain
      anyway. So why waste the time and energy on that kind of shit, right?"


Question #2: WHY WOULD ANYBODY EVEN WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND?


(Can we have a big DUH on that one, folks?)