Brett Cornell Series

Home of the supreme UNSCRUPULOUS BASTARD himself !!

Friday, February 24, 2012

BRETT LEAVES HIS WOMAN SPEECHLESS !!



In this scene from "BRETT ALWAYS WINS" -- Brett easily subjugates his female opponent, just as the title of the novel suggests:




In a tight whisper, she said to me,

" I haven’t forgotten about what you and that cheap redhead were up to all last night –“

“I haven’t forgotten about it either,” I told her with a big, hearty laugh. “It was some night, baby, let me tell you!”
  
 “And in our bed, no less!” she went on, getting more worked up by the second, although I couldn’t see what the big deal was. I mean, what was done was done, and no amount of crying and moaning was gonna alter events that had already transpired – and that’s exactly how that great philosopher Plutonium would have put it, too, I’ll bet.

    “I ain’t in the arguing mood right now,” I said, cutting her off at the pass and lifting my chin at her slightly. “I’m about to make an easy five thousand clams, right? So, just cool your jets, baby, and hightail it to the office after you get cleaned up here – And clean yourself up, too, while you’re at it. I don’t want none of my women going out in public without looking like a million bucks.”

    And then she drew back slightly, gave me a completely dumbfounded look, and said, as if with a sense of wonder,

    “I don’t know what to say right now. You’ve left me completely speechless.”

    And she simply remained standing there. Awe-struck, I guess. So, I merely shrugged my shoulders, and said,

    “Sucks, don’t it?”




Because -- as BRETT says many times throughout the course of the nine novels:

"It's just so great, being me!"





Wednesday, February 22, 2012

NEW BOOK COVER


Here's what the cover for "BRETT AEROBICIZES" will look like:

                                                              
                                                            (click to enlarge)    


Coming soon:   Both the paperback edition and the e-book (Kindle & Nook).

(Stay tuned. . .)

Monday, February 20, 2012

BRETT WINS AGAIN !!



 From time to time, various women in Brett's life have made vain attempts to reform him, or at the very least, to correct his mistakes.

Then, why is it that Brett WINS every argument he ever gets into?

In this little excerpt from "BRETT ALWAYS WINS" (for example) one of Brett's girls is making dinner for him in his apartment, when he calls her from his office to make certain inquiries concerning a mysterious correspondence he may have been sent.

Here it is:

    “So, you called me just to ask me about the mail?” she suddenly wanted to know. “Don’t you realize how busy I am right now, trying to prepare a nice dinner for the two of us, making sure the bread is toasted and the onions are fried, but not too greasy?”

    “Yeah, yeah, I know,” I interrupted her. “You’re a regular old Betsy Crocker, ain’t you?”

    “Well, as usual, you fail to show any appreciation for everything I’ve done for you,” the poor, put-upon thing continued, going all wounded-sounding on me for no reason whatsoever. But then the sarcasm got cranked up unexpectedly as she threw in,” And it’s Betty, not Betsy.”

    “You need to get your hearing checked, baby,” I told her. “I said Betty.”

     “No, you didn’t,” she insisted, stubbornly refusing to admit she was wrong. “You said Betsy, in case you really want to know.”

     “Well, seeing as I don’t really wanna know nothin’ you got to say to me right now, you can just can it, and chill out."



BRETT has obviously WON yet another lop-sided argument!

Amazing! (ain't it?)


Dave

Saturday, February 18, 2012

BRETT on FACEBOOK


BRETT now has his own page on FACEBOOK, if you feel like checking it out when you get a chance!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brett-Cornell/327401750630723?sk=wall

Thanks!

DAVE

Saturday, February 11, 2012

NO FRIENDS FOR BRETT (Aw, shucks!)


Question #1: WHY DOESN'T BRETT HAVE ANY FRIENDS?

Well, as Brett himself explains it in Chapter 2 of Book #9 ("Brett Enters the Square Circle"),

     "Friends! I say: Who needs 'em? The way I look at it, if a man don't have the gonads
      to make it through life all on his own, then he ain't no man at all.

      I'd run across plenty of guys in my time who took pride in having all these buddies on
      hand to play poker with or to shoot golf with or to jerk off with, too, for all I knew --
      and in just about every case, it would turn out that one of the guys betrayed his
      friend's trust by boinking his wife and/or girlfriend. Or one of the guys ripped the
      other guy off by cheating while they were playing a hot and heady game of poker.
      Or -- even worse -- some guy's friend turned out to be gay and had designs on his
      pal's good old gazebo, if you catch my drift.
     
      Hey, I had enough trouble just keeping all my so-called female friends in line. I
      didn't need the added aggravation of cultivating some kind of dumbo friendship with
      another guy.

      Plus, I'd probably end up ripping him off myself, or doing a number on his brain
      anyway. So why waste the time and energy on that kind of shit, right?"


Question #2: WHY WOULD ANYBODY EVEN WANT TO BE HIS FRIEND?


(Can we have a big DUH on that one, folks?)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

E-Store link for "POOLSIDE WITH BRETT"


My CreateSpace E-store is now functioning, so you can submit an order for "Poolside with Brett" by clicking on the following link:

https://www.createspace.com/3740624

However -- I ask you all to please try to exercise some kind of restraint, as the CreateSpace people can fill only so many orders a day !!

(A little "Brett Humor" there, folks!)

Ciao for now!

Dave

"POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" - Now in Paperback


http://www.amazon.com/Poolside-Brett-Cornell-Mystery/dp/1468034650/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328781094&sr=1-2

The above link should take you to the purchase page on Amazon.com, if you happen to be interested in acquiring "POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" as a paperback.

In the meantime, I'm in the process of setting up my CreateSpace e-store, which would allow prospective buyers the ability to obtain their paperback copies via that avenue instead, if they so wished.

It goes without saying that I sincerely appreciate the interest people have already shown in the Brett Cornell Series, and I hope that, if you do purchase this 1st novel in the series, you won't be disappointed, but will be genuinely entertained.

Now, I'll keep quiet and let all of you get on with the rest of your lives (unless you've already clicked off and haven't even read this part of my post yet) --

Oh, man! I'm starting to sound like BRETT ! ! !

Saturday, February 4, 2012

GRAPHICS DESIGNER displays "POOLSIDE" cover !!


The book cover for "Poolside with Brett" is now being featured on the graphics designer's own website:

http://graphiczxdesigns.zenfolio.com/p50841/h261f3c3a#h261f3c3a

If you decide to take a visit, check out the other e-book covers displayed on the site.

I think they're really impressive, and quite varied as well.

Shortly, the same designer will be asked to create a cover for Brett's 2nd mystery novel --
            "BRETT AEROBICIZES"

Warning: It may be here sooner than you think!


Friday, February 3, 2012

"POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" - on AMAZON !!!

http://www.amazon.com/Poolside-Brett-Cornell-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B00753PQ04/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1328290714&sr=1-1

The first book in the Brett Cornell Series -- "POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" -- is finally making its debut appearance today on amazon.com as an ebook (Kindle edition)

The above link will take you to the page containing an image of the book cover, plus the blurb that was featured in an earlier post on this blog (though somewhat altered).

(Please note: If the above link doesn't work, you can always go to www.amazon.com & use their search engine, typing in the title of the book, or even the words "unscrupulous bastard" -- & good old Brett will miraculously appear before your eyes!)

In addition, by clicking on the image of the book cover, you can sample the entire first chapter, plus a few pages of Chapter 2, absolutely FREE -- even though you might prefer to shell out the exorbitant amount of 99 cents (!!!) if you wanted to read the whole novel.

"POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" will also be available as an ebook (Nook format) on the Barnes & Noble website within the next couple of days.

By the end of next week, for those of you who prefer to have an actual regular-size PAPERBACK in your hands and do your reading the old-fashioned way (we're a dying breed, I know) -- "POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" will then be available for purchase in paperback form.

The price for the paperback edition is presently set for $8.95. I know, I know, it's a bit steep -- but at that price, you may end up getting enough Brett in your system to last you a lifetime (!!!).

If all of that news isn't exciting enough, "POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" is also available as an ebook to customers in England, France, Spain, Germany, & Italy, and we can only hope and pray that Brett Cornell doesn't become responsible for triggering an INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT of some sort.

Needless to say, Brett is now ready to take on the world -- but more importantly, is the world ready to take on Brett? ? ?

Only time will tell, so.  . . Stay tuned, folks!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

"BRETT AEROBICIZES" -- In the Works


Possible blurb for "BRETT AEROBICIZES" (the 2nd novel in the Brett Cornell Series):


"A man is found dead with a bullet hole in his chest, and private detective Brett Cornell is the #1 suspect. 

Could it be because he'd been seen punching the guy around only a few days earlier? Or -- more likely -- because the police have discovered that the fatal bullet had been fired from HIS gun? 


In the second novel of this detective series set in the late 1980s, self-proclaimed unscrupulous bastard Brett Cornell has to figure out who's trying to set him up: his lovely but meek new client? Her equally lovely but far from meek room-mate? Or the beautiful and dynamic aerobics instructor he's recently taken up with? 


In the meantime, Brett's legendary Adonis-like features (as he calls them) get severely damaged when he ends up catching the beating of his life -- emotionally as well as physically -- before he finally nails the identity of the real killer!"




This could change before I finally submit it, but I think that, as it stands right now, it would give the reader a pretty good idea of what the novel is about.

Oh, did I mention that Brett gets laid several times during the course of the novel? Oooh, I think I forgot to put that in there!

Oh, well. . . 

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

"POOLSIDE WITH BRETT" -- getting closer!


Just completed: the whole book cover for "Poolside with Brett" which includes the spine and the back cover of the book.

                                                     (click to enlarge)



In progress: e-book editions of the same novel for both Kindle (Amazon) and Nook (Barnes & Noble)

In other words: The INVASION of the BRETT-MONSTER is upon us !!!